EDIT: If you’re looking for how to kill the cougar/mountain lion in the game, it’s down at the end of Gameplay.
For those of you who hate scrolling here it is:  Use the shotgun.

The other day I received an interesting little package from GameFly.  It wasn’t a surprise of course, not with text message alerts and delivery emails, but it held a game I certainly considered a gamble in the video game industry:

Cabela’s Big Game Hunter 2010 for Wii

Woo-hoo.

The general marketing speak that dots sites such as IGN and Gamespy (the owner of this particular quote) is below:

“In Cabela’s Big Game Hunter 2010, players must combine precision, guts, and technology to earn a place among world’s most respected hunters. Seek “Super Hunter” status and join the ranks of hunting’s best of the best — a club where it takes much more than tall tales to gain respect. Players must prove their fearlessness and ability by successfully bagging the largest trophies in the world’s most rugged regions. The most prized animals can only be reached by climbing cliffs, crossing raging rivers, and facing countless more perilous situations. Added elements for Cabela’s Big Game Hunter 2010 also include rewards for successfully using cover to progress through missions and a VITALS system which helps players visualize the perfect shot. In addition, the Wii version includes 13 arcade style shooting galleries, including 4–person multiplayer.”

Before I launch into why I hated this game (and I do despise it), let me just admit a secret I have been locked in the closet for most of my gaming life:

I love arcade style hunting games. I find them tantalizing, entertaining and exciting and they get my adrenaline flowing almost as much as Partypoker on the web.

I love them.  More than once I have found myself rubbing against the coin insert in amorous disillusionment, only the screams of young mothers as they tear their children’s’ virgin eyes away from my display having the ability to dampen my passion.  If I pick up a “shotgun” at a Dave and Buster’s (after 9PM), you better believe there ain’t nothing you can do to stop me.

What was I talking about again?  Oh yeah, Cabela’s Big Game Hunter for the Wii.

To say I had high hopes for this game would be an understatement.  I was expecting something akin to Big Buck Hunter, but with an interactive adventure – dare I say, RPG? – experience.

I was confused by the prospect when I added it to my Game Queue, but the old excitement was stirring inside me and I felt the urge to shoot something; something large, covered with fur, and sporting antlers of some sort.  After unsuccessfully hunting down a very confused cat with antlers taped on its head, I moved Cabela’s Big Game Hunter to the top of my list.

I think this brings us to the beginning, so we can move on.

Oh, one more thing I’d like to point out: I didn’t get the shotgun that comes with the bundle.  It’s Gamefly and they don’t play that.  I’m sure that I would have felt a little more arous—positive about the game in general had I been wielding a fluorescent orange/neon green shotgun molded out of two pieces of recycled plastic (I have no idea if it is recycled plastic).

Let’s get to the meat of this thing, shall we?

Gameplay:

The joystick on the nunchuk manages the forward/backward/side-step controls in a pretty standard way (i.e. push forward and you walk), so we can mark that off as fine.  All mouse-look actions (actions you do on the right joystick on virtually any other current platform) are managed solely by the infrared portion of the remote, regardless of action.

This brings me to my first – and biggest – gripe about the game.  I don’t know about the rest of the world, but when I am walking around in the woods with a gun (which I totally do not do), I don’t ONLY look where the gun is pointed whether I am aiming it or not.  We’re not in the damn Army when you’re looking for a ten-point buck; there is no need for that type of Tom Hanks-in-Saving-Private-Ryan paranoia.

In other games, this isn’t a big deal, primarily because we are using a joystick or mouse to pull off the action.  However, when you’re mouse-look is controlled by the point of your rifle, this makes it unrealistic at best and downright unbearable at worst.

On top of that there is a ridiculous handholding “objective” system couched beneath some weird Assassin’s Creed-esque “Hunter Sense,” (Eagle Vision, anyone?).  You find these objectives by triggering the “Hunter Sense” and looking for yellow pillars of light.  These long yellow shafts guide you to the next hunting location, though on your way you get to find awesome stuff like antler rubbings and scat!

Aww yeah!  Scat!

When you get close enough to a target, the golden checkpoints will disappear and be replaced with little shallow pools of blue light that indicate ideal shooting locations.  There are a few of them, each giving a point bonus based on how good of a setup the location gives you.

This is probably my favorite part of the game, actually.  I loved getting near the target and making my way to the best shot location, silent, deadly, like some sort of stalking mountain lion – which is the “end boss” for the first level, by the way.  The new vitals system, while quite cheap when you consider man-with-rifle vs. unaware-deer, is  very helpful for those of us who get their testosterone on while shooting digital versions of real animals.  How the hell am I supposed to know where a damn giraffe’s heart is?  I’ve never been to the savannah!

Anyway, the hunt is very fun and quite enjoyable, but they had to go and ruin the hunting with a boss fight.

Yeah.  A boss fight.

The first level ends with you fighting a mountain lion.  Who sees you.  And charges.

Rawr.

The first time I got there, I lost.  Mountain lion + rifle at close range = satiated mountain lion.

The second time, I pulled out the shotgun.  Shotgun 1, Mountain Lion 0.

Score: On a scale of 1 to 10, I give the Gameplay a 4.  While it is frustrating, it isn’t like it doesn’t work, despite my ranting, and the actual shooting portion of the game is a lot of fun.

Graphics:

The graphics are hard to judge.  If I was playing on the Xbox 360 or PS3, I would have spit on the disk, thrown it in the microwave, diced it up, made some cookies out of it, and shipped it to the game designers.

However, it wasn’t, so I have to say that the graphics were very comparable to other large-level Wii games out there, i.e. PS2-esque graphics.

Think Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire for the N64.

Since there really isn’t anything positive to say about graphics, let’s move on.

Score: On a scale of 1 to 10, I give the Graphics a 5 on the Wii.  It’s completely average.  Any other modern platform would be a 2.

Sound:

The sound in this game is okay, but it’s nothing to call home about.  You’re in the woods, there are birds chirping, the leaves rustle as you walk, and every now and then you can hear an elusive buck calling.

I didn’t notice that what you did in the game had any real direct impact on the sound – not even once.  Maybe I’m being picky, but if I shoot in the woods and there were birds chirping around me, I’d like to hear some wing flapping.  Maybe even some scurrying of other animals before that deathly silence settles onto my kill spot.

You know what really ruins the sound for me, though?  The discussions between the character and some jackass on… on what?  A satellite intercom?  Some neural implant using space-age technologies that only those hunters who are what you would call “the best of thre ebest” have access to?

All I wanted to know was how to turn him off.  “Rabbit stew sounds good.”

Ugh.

Score: On a scale of 1 to 10, I give the sounds a 4.  The audio is completely average, but the horrible dialog brings it down a notch.

Fun Factor:

Meh.  Killing animals was fun, but the rush doesn’t last long.

If I wanted to really go hunting, I’d go hunting.

Score: On a scale of 1 to 10, I give the Fun Factor a 4.  I really enjoyed the actual hunting scenes.

Summary:

Don’t buy this game.  I’m not even sure you should rent it, not for an actual fee.  GameFly should be your mode of inspection here.

Overall Score: 4.25